73. Mary and Joseph's True Marriage: Form and Perfection

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Lecture Notes

Main Topics #

• The Reality of Mary and Joseph’s Marriage: Whether a true and valid marriage existed between Mary and Joseph despite the absence of carnal union
• The Two Perfections of Marriage: Distinguishing the formal perfection (consisting in conjugal consent and indissoluble bond) from the consummated perfection (ordered to offspring and education)
• Scriptural Objections: Addressing textual difficulties from Matthew and Jerome regarding Joseph’s role as “custos” (guardian) rather than husband
• The Possibility of Marriage Without Consummation: Examining whether mutual consent alone suffices for a true marriage
• The Holy Family as Model: How the marriage of Mary and Joseph demonstrates the holiness of matrimony as a sacrament

Key Arguments #

On the Reality of Mary and Joseph’s Marriage #

• Formal Perfection: A true marriage consists essentially in mutual conjugal consent, which Mary and Joseph both possessed. The form of matrimony consists in “a certain indivisible showing together of souls” (vinculum indissolubile between spouses) through which each is bound to conjugal faith
• Two Perfections Doctrine: Marriage has two perfections:
  • First perfection: the form of matrimony itself (conjugal consent and indissoluble bond)
  • Second perfection: the operation achieving the end of matrimony (carnal union and education of offspring)
• Conditional Consent: Mary and Joseph consented to marriage “under the condition if it be pleasing to God,” which condition was fulfilled through the Incarnation
• Augustine’s Three Goods: Augustine teaches that all three goods of marriage (proles, fides, sacramentum) are fulfilled in the parents of Christ:
  • Proles (offspring): Jesus Christ Himself
  • Fides (faith/fidelity): no adultery
  • Sacramentum (the sacramental indissoluble bond): no divorce
• Adoption Analogy: A married couple who adopt and educate a child achieve the second perfection of marriage (the end) without biological offspring; similarly, Mary and Joseph achieved this through raising Christ

Addressing Scriptural Objections #

• Jerome’s “Custos” Argument: Jerome states Joseph was Mary’s guardian rather than her husband. Response: Jerome is speaking of the consummation aspect; Jerome himself calls Joseph her “vir” (husband) elsewhere, and Scripture does the same
• The Change in Matthew’s Genealogy: The evangelist does not say “Joseph begot” as with all predecessors, but rather “Jacob begot Joseph” and “Joseph was betrothed to Mary, of whom was born Jesus.” This signals the unique, non-generative status of Joseph while affirming his true marital relationship
• Matthew 1:19 and Early Betrothal: The text describes Joseph considering dismissal before formal celebration of nuptials. The angel’s command “do not fear to take Mary as your wife” means “do not fear to celebrate solemnly the nuptials,” implying Mary was already dwelling in his house through initial betrothal

Important Definitions #

• Matrimonium/Conjugium: Marriage; the term takes its name from mater (mother) because childbearing is chiefly the woman’s office, whereas inheritance is called patrimonium from the father’s role
• Concubitum Conjugale: Carnal union; the consummation of marriage through sexual intercourse, which pertains to the second perfection of marriage
• Proles: Offspring; one of the three inseparable goods of marriage
• Fides: Faith or conjugal fidelity; mutual commitment to chastity from the other spouse without adultery
• Sacramentum: The sacramental indissoluble bond of marriage, which cannot be severed by divorce
• Vinculum Indissolubile: The indissoluble bond created by mutual conjugal consent
• Custos: Guardian; Jerome’s term for Joseph’s protective role, though he also calls Joseph Mary’s husband elsewhere

Examples & Illustrations #

• Betrothal in Christ’s Time: Betrothal was a serious legal status—death of one party made the survivor a widow, and unfaithfulness constituted adultery. This was far more binding than modern engagements and explains why the angel commanded Joseph to proceed with formal celebration of nuptials rather than dismissing Mary in secret
• The Genealogy’s Change: Matthew’s genealogy maintains the pattern “A begot B” through Joseph, then shifts to “Joseph was betrothed to Mary, of whom was born Jesus,” signifying that while Joseph was truly her husband, he was not her biological generative principle
• Adoption and Marriage Perfection: A couple who adopt a child and educate it together achieve the second perfection of marriage (the end of matrimony) even without biological offspring, demonstrating that the consummation is not essential to true marriage
• Modern Annulment Crisis: Berquist mentions a contemporary case of a woman granted two annulments for the same marriage (reversed on appeal twice before her death), illustrating how lax modern annulment practice has become, contrasting with the seriousness of marital bonds in traditional understanding

Questions Addressed #

Q: If Mary and Joseph were truly married, why did they not consummate the marriage? #

A: Because marriage achieves its formal perfection through mutual conjugal consent alone. Consummation pertains to the second perfection ordered toward the end of marriage (offspring and education). Since Christ was conceived by the Holy Spirit and educated by both Mary and Joseph, the second perfection was achieved through Christ’s education despite the absence of carnal union. Augustine confirms all three goods of marriage were fulfilled.

Q: How does the text “he knew her not until she brought forth” not imply subsequent relations? #

A: The term “until” (donec) in Scripture marks a determined time without necessarily implying change afterward. Jerome demonstrates this usage: “Our eyes are to the Lord our God until His pity on us” does not mean eyes will be averted after mercy comes. The evangelist uses “until” to emphasize virginity at the time of birth specifically.

Q: Was Joseph truly Mary’s husband if Jerome calls him her “custos”? #

A: Jerome uses “custos” (guardian) when emphasizing Joseph’s protective role in the consummation aspect, but Jerome himself also calls Joseph Mary’s “vir” (husband). The terms are not contradictory—Joseph was truly her husband in form and conjugal bond while serving as her guardian and protector.

Q: Could a couple marry intending never to consummate their marriage? #

A: Berquist expresses uncertainty here, noting that if someone explicitly intends not to have relations while intending marriage, this would differ from Mary and Joseph’s conditional consent. He notes canonists would be cautious, not wanting young couples to take vows of chastity beyond their strength. However, Augustine demonstrates that observing mutual consent in chastity (servata pari consensu continentia) can still constitute a true marriage.

Notable Quotes #

“Matrimonium or conjugium is said to be true from this that it attains to its own perfection… The form of matrimony consists in a certain indivisible showing together of souls, through which one of the conjugal spouses is indivisibly held to observe faith to the other.” — Thomas Aquinas

“Servata pari consensu continentia, posee per monere vocari que canigene… non per mixto corpore sexu.” (“Observing mutual consent in chastity, it can still be called and named a marriage… not through mixture of bodies in sexual union.”) — Augustine

“Every good of matrimony is fulfilled in those parents of Christ: proles, fides, and sacramentum. For the offspring we know is the Lord Jesus; faith because no adultery; sacrament because no divorce.” — Augustine