108. Remedies of Sadness: Pleasure, Weeping, and Friendship

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Lecture Notes

Main Topics #

• Five Remedies for Sadness: Pleasure, weeping, compassion of friends, contemplation of truth, and sleep
• Pleasure as Mitigation: How any pleasure can remedy sadness through dispositional contrarity rather than specific opposition
• Weeping as Catharsis: The role of emotional expression in diffusing interior sadness and providing relief
• Friendship and Consolation: How a friend’s sorrow with us provides both burden-sharing and affirmation of being loved
• The Subtlety of Contrary Emotions: How sadness and pleasure operate as contraries at the level of genus even when not specifically opposite

Key Arguments #

Whether Pleasure Mitigates Sadness #

• Against: Not every pleasure is contrary to every sadness; some pleasures cause sadness; dead friends’ associated pleasures become burdensome
• For: Aristotle teaches that pleasure expels sadness; contraries remedy through contraries (medical principle)
• Thomas’s Resolution: Although not every pleasure is specifically contrary to every sadness, all pleasures are contrary in genus (both concern the appetitive power’s disposition). Therefore, any pleasure can mitigate any sadness by changing the subject’s disposition, though contrary pleasures do so more effectively
  • Example: If lonely, calling a friend mitigates loneliness more effectively than ice cream, though ice cream still provides some relief

Whether Weeping Mitigates Sadness #

• Against: No effect diminishes its cause; weeping is effect of sadness; weeping reminds us of the sad thing, increasing sadness
• For: Augustine testifies that tears brought relief (requies) when mourning his friend
• Thomas’s Resolution: Tears and moaning mitigate sadness for two reasons:
  1. Diffusion of Interior Intention: What is held inwardly afflicts more because the soul’s intention multiplies upon it. When diffused outwardly (through tears, words, sighing), the interior intention is broken up and sadness diminishes
  2. Suitable Operation: Weeping and moaning are operations suitable to one’s sad state; a suitable operation according to one’s disposition is pleasant; therefore these become pleasant and every pleasure mitigates sadness

Whether Compassion of Friends Mitigates Sadness #

• Against: By proportion, as laughter increases joy, so weeping should increase sadness; friendship requires mutual love; friend’s sadness is new evil causing more sadness
• For: Aristotle (Ethics IX) teaches that a friend sorrowing with one consoles
• Thomas’s Resolution: A friend’s sorrow naturally consoles for two reasons:
  1. Burden-Sharing: Sadness has the nature of a burden (onus). When another sorrows with us, we imagine the burden is being borne together, making it lighter and more bearable—like carrying heavy bodies jointly
  2. Affirmation of Love: More importantly, through the friend’s sorrow we perceive ourselves to be loved, which is delectable. Since every pleasure mitigates sadness, this perception of being loved mitigates our sorrow
  • Note: Thomas acknowledges that the friend’s sadness can in some sense cause additional sadness, but the consideration of the cause (love) is more delighting and overrides this

Important Definitions #

Sadness (tristitia) #

• A passion concerning a present evil, repugnant to the appetitive power’s rest in suitable good
• Distinct from its causes and its effects

Pleasure (delectatio) #

• Rest of the appetite in a suitable good; corresponds to what is restful or beautiful
• Can be analyzed as either sensible pleasure (with bodily component) or pleasure of the will (without bodily component)

Contraries in Genus vs. Species #

• Specific contrariety: Direct opposition (e.g., loneliness vs. friendship)
• Generic contrariety: Opposition at the level of disposition of the subject (e.g., any pleasure vs. any sadness, both affecting the appetitive power’s state)

Catharsis (Purgation) #

• The process by which expressing sorrow externally relieves interior sadness through diffusion of the soul’s concentrated intention

Examples & Illustrations #

The Seminary Student and Ice Cream #

• A former minor seminary student suffered from a “spastic stomach” due to harsh conditions (bread with flies, worms). Upon leaving, he was severely underweight. His aunts and mother served large bowls of ice cream to fatten him up—it worked. This shows how ice cream (pleasure) mitigates sadness/weakness, even if not the most suitable remedy

The High School Boy and Weight Gain #

• Berquist’s brother ate ice cream frequently; mother warned he’d get fat. Boy responded: “It melts, it goes right through you.” Later he lost ten pounds. Illustrates both humor about bodily operations and how people process remedies differently

Music and Association #

• Certain pieces of music become associated with specific places (San Francisco, Quebec) where one heard them. When a dead or absent friend, one may initially avoid places/music associated with them because memory of the friend causes sadness. However, the present good (music itself) eventually outweighs past association, and pleasure expels sadness

Funeral Homes and Distraction #

• When friends visit someone in sadness (at a funeral), the constant stream of visitors provides distraction and shared burden, mitigating the concentrated interior sadness

Parting as Sweet Sorrow (Romeo and Juliet) #

• Berquist’s personal example: saying goodbye to his young daughter at the bus; she held back tears. His wife observed it was “hard to follow.” Shakespeare’s “Parting is such sweet sorrow” expresses how the awareness of being loved (sweet) mingles with the pain of separation (sorrow)

Augustine on a Dead Friend #

• Augustine fled his native country to escape places where he had walked and conversed with a now-dead friend. The pleasant memories became onerous because they reminded him of loss. Yet after time, the memory of their pleasant communion (good possessed together) and the love itself eventually conquered the sadness through its own pleasantness

Christ and His Mother #

• Discussion of whether Christ’s pain was lessened or increased by his mother’s sorrow at the cross. While her sorrow for him caused him additional sorrow (she was innocent and didn’t deserve to suffer), her willing presence and love also provided consolation—a subtle mix of both effects

Notable Quotes #

“Pleasure does not mitigate sadness unless, except insofar as it is contrary; for medicines come to be through contraries, as it’s said in the second book of the Ethics.” — Aristotle (Ethics II), cited by Berquist via Thomas

“Any rest of the body brings some remedy against any fatigue from any unnatural cause; so any pleasure brings some remedy to mitigating sadness from whatever it proceeds.” — Thomas Aquinas (reconstructed from Berquist’s explanation)

“That pleasure expels sadness, and that which is contrary, and that which happens if it is strong enough.” — Aristotle (Ethics VII), via Berquist

“Parting is such sweet sorrow.” — Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet (illustrating how love’s perception sweetens sorrow)

“When two causes are inclining to contrary emotions, one impedes the other, but nevertheless that which finally conquers is which is stronger and more longer lasting.” — Thomas Aquinas (on competing dispositions)

Questions Addressed #

Q: Does every pleasure mitigate every sadness? #

A: Not specifically. Some pleasures are more contrary to specific sadnesses (friendship-pleasure vs. loneliness-sadness). However, every pleasure mitigates every sadness generically because all pleasure and sadness concern the disposition of the appetitive power, making them contraries at that level. A contrary pleasure always provides some remedy, with more specific contraries being more effective.

Q: Why does weeping relieve sorrow if it’s an effect of sorrow? #

A: The relation of effect to cause is contrary to the relation of the cause to the sufferer. The thing causing sadness opposes the person; the effect (weeping) follows from what the person is. Additionally, weeping is suitable to one’s sad state, and suitable operations according to one’s disposition are pleasant, thus mitigating sadness. Furthermore, weeping diffuses the concentrated interior intention, reducing intensity.

Q: Does a friend’s sorrow with us increase our sadness? #

A: Potentially yes, the friend’s sadness is a new evil. However, this is outweighed by two factors: (1) the perception that the burden is shared makes it lighter, and (2) more importantly, perceiving ourselves to be loved is delectable (pleasant), and pleasure mitigates sadness. The love manifested through compassion is stronger and more lasting than the new sadness.

Q: What is the difference between laughter increasing joy and weeping increasing sadness? #

A: The relations are not parallel. Laughter increases joy because there is agreement/similarity between laughter and joy, and similar things increase their similar. But weeping decreases sadness because although weeping is an effect of sadness, it also makes the sad person’s state suitable to himself, which is pleasant. Thus the pleasant aspect overrides and mitigates the original sadness.

Philosophical Method & Teaching Approach #

• Use of Contrary Arguments: Berquist follows scholastic method, presenting objections thoroughly before Thomas’s resolution
• Concrete Examples: Uses contemporary examples (ice cream, funerals, music, family goodbyes) to illustrate abstract principles
• Integration of Literature: References Shakespeare, Augustine, and classical sources to enrich philosophical discussion
• Emphasis on Subtlety: Repeatedly notes how Thomas offers subtle, multi-layered analyses superior to modern psychology
• Distinction-Making: Constantly refines concepts (specific vs. generic contrariety, effect vs. cause relations, sensation vs. will operations)
• Anthropological Grounding: Connects abstract philosophy to human experience and natural operations