16. Envy and Flattery as Vices Opposed to Friendship

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Lecture Notes

Main Topics #

Envy as Vice Opposed to Friendship #

• Definition: Envy (invidia) is sadness over the good fortune of another person
• Directly contradicts mutual goodwill, the essence of friendship
• Distinguished from pity (sadness at another’s misfortune), which is a good emotion
• Called a “hellish vice” by Henry Fielding and Scripture (Book of Wisdom)
• More characteristic of those in lower positions envying those above them
• The prevalence of envy among humans reveals the rarity of true friendship
• Even momentary envy, if habitual, destroys friendship

The Paradox of Human Nature and Envy #

• Three major English novelists (Smollett, Thackeray, Fielding) all observe envy as very common in human experience
• Envy is not natural to human nature per se, but rather ingrained in fallen human nature
• Must be actively fought against like any temptation against virtue
• The example of St. Teresa of Ávila: even in monasteries, older nuns envied younger nuns receiving greater graces

Envy and Misfortune: A Reversible Vice #

• When the envied person falls into misfortune, envy can transform into pity
• The example of Columbus: his enemies envied his glory but pitied his later degradation
• This shows that pity and envy can exist toward the same person in succession
• Suggests envy is rooted in competition and pride rather than genuine malice

Flattery and Friendship #

• Flattery is less directly opposed to friendship than envy
• “The sweet breath of flattery conquers strife”—flattery serves a social function
• Distinction: a true friend sees faults but wishes to help correct them; a flatterer never points out defects
• Yet perfect friendship may involve mutual flattery to preserve peace
• The tension between honest correction and kind flattery in maintaining friendship

Parent-Child Love as Model for Friendship Among Equals #

• A father naturally rejoices in his son’s success without envy
• The father-son bond exemplifies friendship free from the vice of envy
• Both Homer and Shakespeare compare perfect friendship among equals to parent-child love
• Homer’s comparison: Achilles’ grief at Patroclus’s death is like a father mourning his only son
• Shakespeare’s Sonnet 37: “As a decrepit father takes delight to see his active child do deeds of youth”
• Reason: the son is a “natural continuation” of the father, thus easier to love as “another self”

Key Arguments #

Why Envy Destroys Friendship #

1. Friendship requires mutual goodwill (wishing well to the other)
2. Envy is sadness at the other’s good fortune
3. These are logically incompatible—one cannot simultaneously wish someone well and be sad at their success
4. Even if the temptation arises suddenly, habitually indulging it will destroy the friendship
5. Therefore, envy is the primary threat to existing friendships

Envy as Characteristic of Democratic Times #

• Unlike pride (the vice of the great), envy is the vice of the lowly
• Some sociologists observe envy as more characteristic of democratic societies
• In egalitarian contexts, people are always comparing themselves to those slightly ahead
• This makes envy a persistent threat to modern friendships

Flattery vs. Truth in Friendship #

• A “flatterer’s eye” never sees faults; a “friend’s eye” sees faults but works to correct them
• Yet complete honesty without kindness can also harm friendship
• The resolution: a true friend combines honest perception with charitable intent
• Example from Twelfth Night: the clown notes that enemies tell him plainly he’s a fool (thus helping him know himself), while friends flatter him and make an ass of him

Envy and Human Weakness #

• Fielding’s observation: “The black ingredient which fouls our disposition is envy”
• We are more apt to pity misfortune than to overcome envy at another’s success
• This reveals the natural weakness of human friendships

Important Definitions #

Envy (Invidia) #

• Sadness over the good fortune or prosperity of another person
• Opposed to friendship’s essential mutual goodwill
• A capital vice in Thomistic theology, opposed to charity
• Distinguished from pity (sadness at misfortune, a good emotion) and emulation (ambition to match another’s achievement)

Pity (Misericordia) #

• Sadness over the misfortune of another
• A good passion and emotion
• Applied metaphorically to God: Kyrie eleison, Agnus Dei, miserere nobis
• Opposite of envy in emotional tenor

Flattery #

• Insincere praise or false commendation
• “Conquers strife” by avoiding conflict
• Less opposed to friendship than envy, but potentially corrupting if it prevents honest correction

True Friendship (Philia) #

• Based on mutual goodwill and seeing the other as “another self”
• Involves genuine wish for the other’s good fortune
• Should be free from envy and characterized by honest (though charitable) counsel

Examples & Illustrations #

From Shakespeare’s Plays #

Much Ado About Nothing

• Benedict and Beatrice initially mock each other but eventually recognize their love
• Shows the journey from apparent enmity to friendship and love

The Merry Wives of Windsor

• Fenton and Anne Page’s mutual love contrasted with the schemes of other suitors
• Illustrates genuine choice-based friendship and love

As You Like It

• Celia and Rosalind: friendship between two women; their separation tests their bond
• Rosalind’s line: “Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight that I love thee”
• Shows how unequal love threatens friendship

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

• The friendship between Hermia and Helena is tested by romantic love
• Demonstrates the potential conflict between romantic love and friendship

The Two Gentlemen of Verona

• Proteus and Valentine’s friendship is tested when both love Sylvia
• Proteus is “well-named” because he constantly changes shape (metaphorically, betraying his oaths)
• Valentine calls Proteus “treacherous man” and “perjured”
• Illustrates how romantic passion can corrupt friendship

Julius Caesar

• Cassius and Brutus’s friendship is strained by Cassius’s anger
• Brutus distinguishes between loving a person and hating their faults
• The friendship between these men is compared to their capacity to bear each other’s infirmities

Hamlet

• Hamlet chooses Horatio as friend explicitly based on virtue
• “Give me that man that is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him in my heart’s core, ay in my heart of heart, as I do thee”
• Horatio is not motivated by profit (has no revenue), thus represents true friendship
• Illustrates friendship based on choice and virtue, not utility

Romeo and Juliet

• Depends on the fact that parents, not individuals, choose marriage partners
• Shows the historical context of arranged marriages

Venus and Adonis

• Venus loves Adonis but he does not return her love
• He refuses love: “I know not love, nor will not know it unless it be a boar”
• Illustrates that unrequited love is not friendship

Sonnet 37

• “As a decrepit father takes delight to see his active child do deeds of youth, / So I made lame by fortune’s dearest spite, take all my comfort of thy worth and truth”
• Expresses friendship modeled on parental love, free from envy despite the speaker’s misfortune

Sonnet 138

• “When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies”
• Shows how even true lovers flatter each other: “Therefore I lie with her and she with me, / And in our faults by lies we flatter and be”
• Suggests mutual flattery is part of intimate relationships

Twelfth Night

• The clown tells the Duke: “They [my friends] praise me and make an ass of me… my foes tell me plainly I’m an ass”
• “So that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends, I’m abused”
• Illustrates the paradox that honest enemies may help us know ourselves better than flattering friends

Cymbeline

• Cloten, a foolish villain, is constantly flattered by courtiers
• Shows the corrupting effect of flattery on character
• The first and second lords flatter him despite his obvious inadequacy

King Lear

• Kent criticizes Oswald as a “smiling rogue” who flatters the king
• “Such smiling rogues as these like rats oft bite the holy cords at wain which are to and twins to and loose”
• Oswald represents the vice of flattery that enables a master’s vices rather than correcting them

From Homer’s Iliad #

• Book 23: Achilles mourns Patroclus and cannot sleep
• Achilles’ grief is compared to a father mourning his only son
• Also compared to a lioness mourning her lost cub
• Achilles says: “I shall never have a friend like Patroclus”
• Illustrates the perfection of friendship based on shared virtue (courage)

From Novelists #

Tobias Smollett (Travels)

• Matthew Bramble: “I am inclined to think no mind was ever wholly exempt from envy”
• Even in monasteries, St. Teresa was envied by older nuns for her spiritual advancement
• Suggests envy is deeply ingrained in fallen human nature

William Thackeray (Henry Esmond)

• “In our friends’ misfortunes are something secretly pleasant to us… their good fortune is disagreeable”
• “If ’tis hard for a man to bear his own good luck, ’tis harder still for his friends to bear it for him”
• “What few of them ordinarily can stand that trial”
• Notes that adversity and misfortune reconcile enemies and bring back kindness
• “The rivalry stops when the competitor tumbles”

Henry Fielding (Tom Jones)

• “The black ingredient which fouls our disposition is envy”
• “Most of the defects which have discovered themselves in the friendships within my observation have arisen from envy only”
• Calls envy a “hellish vice”
• Observes that we more readily pity the miserable than overcome envy at the fortunate
• “Our eye is seldom, I am afraid, turned upward to those who are manifestly greater, better, wiser, happier than ourselves, without some degree of lignity”

Historical Example #

Christopher Columbus

• San Domingo was “the very hotbed of sedition” against Columbus in his days of power
• He was “hurried from it in ignominious chains, amid the shouts and taunts of the Trump and rabble”
• Later, when shipwrecked and in distress, the same people’s “hostility was overpowered by the popular sense of his late disasters”
• Illustrates the transformation from envy to pity when fortune reverses

Notable Quotes #

“I am inclined to think no mind was ever wholly exempt from envy.” — Matthew Bramble (Smollett, Travels)

“The black ingredient which fouls our disposition is envy.” — Henry Fielding, Tom Jones

“In our friends’ misfortunes are something secretly pleasant to us… their good fortune is disagreeable.” — William Thackeray, Henry Esmond

“As a decrepit father takes delight to see his active child do deeds of youth, / So I made lame by fortune’s dearest spite, take all my comfort of thy worth and truth.” — Shakespeare, Sonnet 37

“Give me that man that is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him in my heart’s core, ay in my heart of heart, as I do thee.” — Hamlet to Horatio, Hamlet

“They praise me and make an ass of me… my foes tell me plainly I’m an ass. / So that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends, I’m abused.” — The Clown, Twelfth Night

“The rivalry stops when the competitor tumbles.” — William Thackeray, Henry Esmond

“All of the conspirators save only he did that they did in envy of great Caesar.” — Antony, Julius Caesar

“This was the noblest Roman of them all… A man that fortune’s buffets and rewards / Hath ta’en with equal thanks.” — Antony, Julius Caesar

“For God created man incorruptible, and to the image of his own likeness he made him. But by the envy of the devil, huh, death came into the world.” — Book of Wisdom

Questions Addressed #

Is Envy Natural to Human Nature? #

• Problem: Three major English novelists observe envy as extremely common in human experience, seemingly natural
• Resolution: Envy is not natural to human nature properly understood, but rather ingrained in fallen human nature and must be fought against like any temptation
• Evidence: Even in monasteries (places of virtue), St. Teresa was envied; this shows envy requires active resistance

Can Friendship Exist Without Some Element of Flattery? #

• Problem: The sweetness of flattery seems to preserve peace in relationships, yet it appears incompatible with honest friendship
• Resolution: Some degree of flattery may be inevitable in maintaining peace, but true friendship requires that a friend see faults and wish to help correct them (unlike a mere flatterer)
• Key distinction: The flatterer’s eye never sees defects; the friend’s eye sees them but combines honesty with charity

Why Do Enemies Sometimes Help Us More Than Friends? #

• Problem: The clown in Twelfth Night notes that his enemies tell him plainly when he’s wrong, while friends flatter him
• Resolution: Friends may fail in their duty to give honest counsel out of fear of causing offense; enemies have no such fear and thus may inadvertently help us know ourselves better
• Example: Plutarch wrote an essay “How to Benefit from Your Enemies” based on this observation

Why Is Envy Particularly Characteristic of Democratic Times? #

• The vice of the great is pride (contempt for inferiors)
• The vice of the lowly is envy (sadness at others’ superiority)
• In democratic societies where equality is sought, people are always comparing themselves to those slightly ahead
• This makes envy a persistent and perhaps growing threat to modern friendships